|Thanks, emmabutterfly for this image|
Today is the day.
I've decided today it is time, once and for all to take action. To put my money where my mouth is. Or, since I have no money to speak of, to put my writing where my mouth is.
For those friends learning English who are unfamiliar with this cultural expression: this is what I mean.
It is time to do it. To stop avoiding it. To stop talking about doing it. To stop making lists about how to accomplish it. To stop seeking therapy for not being able to do it (okay that's new and could be a good idea).
What am I talking about? What is the it I mean?
Let's put it this way.
Today I decided to write more. To write definitively. And to go for a career in writing and performing original work.That means something has to go. In order to write definitively, say 2 or 3 hours a day, I realized I would have to cut something out. I need to work: that is, write.
But, my JOB gets in the way of my WORK.
And my JOB pays the bills.
But, like I said, I'm putting my (non-existent) money where my mouth is. I expressed to those I work for my intent to transition into a more creative career.
Granted, that statement is bound to piss someone off. It would piss me off if I were in the position of, well any position in this stinky economy in which I kept a job I didn't love in order to keep my children in pantaloons and pancakes. It makes me feel a little guilty that I feel I have the freedom to go for it.
And, I'm foolish enough at the age of 39 to try for something else. To, and I dread to write it as much as you dread reading it, to go after my dreams.
Is this Hurricane Sandy or the full moon talking?
Have I been listening to too much Alicia Keys?
Or, is this some sort of late adolescence...a kind of Run, Rabbit, Run syndrome?
Maybe all of the above.And something more.
I stopped waiting for support. I decided to take heart, not grow weary, have a little hope, and go for it.
As soon as I took action, the weirdest thing occurred.
After making the decision to stop waffling and move forward however I could today, I had five students drop their advising spots...for those not living in Academia...I now miraculously have five hours MORE in my week.
I'm free to write. I'm also a bit under the gun...meaning, I have to make this work. Or else, I'm out on my hiney. Nothing like a little threat of homelessness to grease the wheel and get an artist working. If I do lose my job, I've always got my work.
What's the worst that can happen? Not a bad question.
How about, what's the best?
Stay tuned for more from the Radical Middle: upcoming events, NANOWRIMO begins November 1. Write the novel you always dreamed of. Also, stay tuned for the winner of Subject4Change Contest #1...because I'm still processing the flood of zero entries. So, I've written two acts of a play for you!