I've got a precious thought-give away for you and only ten minutes to open the booth and get to hawking.
Hawk: a pun. drawing on the symbolism of the Hawk as channel, as messenger to the Great Spirit
(because yeah, I like to think of myself as Indian sometimes)
...married unfortunately with the Hawker, an image of an old striped snake oil vendor at a fair just set up in town by the carnies, the gypsies, the sojourners, and the travelers-through.
I am both of these. You're welcome.
But back to the task at hand.
I want to tell you a few things before I run off to work:
1) No Fear
3) Twenty Minutes. You've got twenty minutes.
4) Jealousy? Hah! Swallow it. Own it.
5) Live Free
Wow. I can't believe I got that out! And I have 6 minutes to spare. Alright, here is what it means.
First, No Fear.
A story. I remember in my ol' college days borrowing my boss's car to run an errand with a friend.
First, understand the boss. This boss was a real go-getter: Amway-diamond-here-to-teach-you-the-ways-of-the-force-before-he moves-on-to-greener-pastoral-landscapes-high-achiever. (Of me, this boss said, "Um, her? I don't think she's cut out for Amway." That's right, I was rejected by Amway.) Anyway, that's the type of guy we are talking about here. Always successful, like King Midas in a jewelry store: very well-liked and everyone's his success will rub off on them.
Now, the friend. My friend was amazingly persuasive for being so tiny. That's it.
So the boss lets my tiny friend borrow his big old black SUV for this errand she needs to run.
She drags me along because 1 tiny person plus 1 medium-sized suburbanite equals enough man-power to move furniture or bag trash or paint floors...I don't remember except that I often agreed to be her maid servant because she had no upper body strength to speak of and contrary to me, she was sought after heavily by Amway for her good cheer, trembling accessibility and ability to talk people into doing things they really don't want to do. Strange, this description makes her sound like a chihuahua.
|This chihuahua looks pissed.|
When I climbed into the giant car, I noticed on the back it sported a "NO FEAR" bumper sticker, an early adoption of a logo that would trend in the nineties before it flashed out during Y2K.
When I say followed what I mean is "tailed like a prostitute in Nevada" by some guy in an even bigger, blacker SUV riding our taillights who would not let up. He kept gunning it. For miles. He wouldn't go around. He wouldn't pull off. He just wanted to scare us.
My theory? It was the "NO FEAR" bumper sticker. Sporting a bumper sticker that says "NO FEAR" draws the assholes in as a challenge.
I have a point. The minute you change your life and say it aloud for the world to see, expect physical and spiritual opposition. Wearing "No Fear" "Now I'm an Optimist FOREVER" or "Look, Ma! I'm an Artist!" on your soul, forehead (or blog) is akin to wearing rainbow lycra over a potbelly at a Bally's Fitness Center. Expect people to disbelieve.
Disbelievers, or as we knew them in the nineties: "dissers" will dare you silently, or out loud. They will say with their eyes (or their stretchy mouths) "I don't believe you." When you look at yourself in the mirror next to that hottie in her black yoga pants, you are going to doubt yourself, too.
But my little stovepipe, hold on to that rainbow. You can do this. Not only can you conquer fear, you will do so with a sense of humor, realizing that life is a balance of sprinkley donuts and hand-weights. Just lift the donuts less often.
Eventually the devil in the SUV laughed maniacally and sped off, bored with our inability to engage him on a level of "No Fear" and prove our machismo.
The chihuahua and I finished her errand and returned the boss's car. I never got into Amway, so I'll never make "diamond". But, I got something better.
I don't have to work for Amway.
More soon from the "Radical Middle"...we've got the rest of that list to get to!